I use to dream of simplicity. Easy going days. No fights or arguments, drama free, wind gently blowing, sun always shining, worry free days of simplicity.
Then I started to realize that I can not actively, whole heartedly, follow Jesus AND simultaneously live a simplistic life. The life of a die hard lover of Christ will be full of adventure and trials and storms to endure and fires to walk through. This life will witness some of the highest mountaintops with the most spectacular views and some of the lowest pits imaginable. Think about the best movies you've seen and books you have read....they are anything but simplistic! We wouldn't stick around for simplicity. The characters wouldn't develop and grow and realize who they really are and for what purpose they were truly created.
And so my desire for simplicity faded and instead a thirst for the adventure developed. 100% of the time the journey looks nothing like I would imagine. Its not always easy, but so far it has ALWAYS been purposeful and rewarding.
If I look back on my adult life I would say I am in chapter 5 of my life. Not too many chapters considering I am nearing the age of 40. But If I were to title the previous chapters they would be:
Chapter 1:
Waking up
It was right after getting married at the age of 20 that I started to recognize the desperate need I had to know Jesus. I don't mean the kind of "know" like we "know" our neighbors. I mean KNOW him. To the point where I couldn't go a day without thinking about him. And so, I started Waking Up.
Chapter 2:
The Tilling
It turns out that when you are young and foolish and self righteous and newly married and yet are asking Jesus to transform you....life can get hard. My mind was messy and my feelings matched. So, much uprooting and tilling was required for the future planting God had in mind for my life.
Chapter 3:
The Joyful Darkness
The Tilling was painful in so many ways...but it started to produce fruit in my life that I hadn't truly experienced before. Joy being one of them! But this was a hard HARD painful chapter in my life. It span the distance of a decade, my husband was gone more than he was home and we were in the throws of toddlers and babies (5 times in under 7 years).
Chapter 4:
The Hope
God started showing us glimpses into our future. He started filling our hearts with desire for so much more than we could ever imagine....and I don't mean material things. I mean Bill being home every night, being debt free, being in a position to take care of people in a way we never dreamed and adoption. These glimpses brought such a mighty hope.
And now, I am in the beginning of Chapter 5. I would say this chapter just may be called "The Reveal of the Promise"
It is really starting to become clear to me that this life that God has given me is NOT for me. Its for HIM. He has things He has had planned since the beginning of time just for my life. And just for your life. As I am starting to wrap my head around this truth...it makes me SO excited to see what He has planned. And I am determined to not get in his way!
(you can watch my story up this point here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhve0Y80xU)
No comments:
Post a Comment